WARNING - THIS POST CONTAINS SATIRE, You will find similar satircal posts pertaining to women. I am not (as some who are unfamiliar with this blog think) a man hater....DOH!
Men have been likened to Dogs before, not by me of course, but they have.
I would like to call upon the 'dog' analogy to explain how to tell if your man loves you.
Signs a Man is in love:
Puppy Dog eyes,
All sad and dewy looking when you tell him you can't see him tonight.
Then you have the 'marking of territory'.
Dogs do this by urinating on things. Now if your guy is into water sports then he may urinate on you but it is more likely he will just want to have sex with you BEFORE you go out for the evening without him.
When men have sex it lessens their immediate interest in the opposite sex and sex in general, so they assume it has the same effect on you. Thus a woman who has been given 'a good seeing to' is less likely to be unfaithful......they think!
This territorial behavior can also manifest in warning off other dogs..males.
Top Dog behavior
Your man will want to know that he is Top Dog in your eyes and will fight for that position with posturing, bragging and competing with other males you associate with.
Men generally refrain from sniffing other men’s butts but they do check out the competition in other ways. For example, asking about job/salary/sporting achievements and sadly...arm wrestling.
Loyalty
If they are truley in love, they will remain loyal and will only have sex with you, when you are present in the room. Of course like dogs, there is no telling who they'll be shagging when you're not.
What else do dogs do when in love?
Oh yes, they nibble the others doggies ears and do lots of impromtu licking and of course always trying to 'mount' the bitch. I am sure this needs no further elaboration.
How to keep that loving feeling
Take your man out for regular walks, feed and water regularly, lots of heavy petting and he will remain a loyal and faithful friend. Give him a bone(r) once in a while too.
14 comments:
I'm curious why you didn't mention the man's desire to stuffing his face in our girl's ass.
Dog's do that, too. But it's gross when THEY do it.
Because 'face in ass' is not evidence of love. ;)
I posted this blog on another site and a chap has complained it is very demeaning to men, so I removed it.
I was worried that out of the context of this blog my post looks like a man attack. Hope none of you chaps here were offended!!!!!
I liken children to dogs too. I often say to my pals, take your kids for a good run in the morning and they won't tear up your house. :)
wot?
Seriously, non taken. I like it, its true.
I just wonder where you come up with these thoughts, do you have a dog =)
I have no dog, but I think because Dogs and humans are both social animals with a 'Top Dog' there are a few similarities with both sexes.
I am watching Dog Whisperer prsently and wondering if I can transfer these skills of obtaining obedience to men. I don't think I am allowed to use to choke chain on a human though.
Shame......
;)
Dear guy (Steve?) who sent a long rambling comment. No offence but after I read first sentance 'I don't know which guy hurt you' didn't read any further. One last time, THIS POST IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY.
I was inspired by a dating experts article and the Dog Whisperer which is program I love and thought bearing in mind the 'men are dogs' saying, I would try to write a post that tied the two together. I have written ana rtlce called why are women bitches. Complaining about men and women is what this blog is about!!! It IS satire.
be happy, I like blokes...:)
seriously, don''t pay attention to people saying thigs like that. keep up the good work.
We like you too :=)
Thanks Morteza :)
I like blokes, you must be gay too.
shall we have a coming out party.
bertie
ermmm I'm a girl :) but yeh go for it! Have you seen my 'man of the day widget?
And no I'm not a lesbian :)
hehe, I like it that you felt that you needed to clarify that you are not a lesbian. You wouldn't want to scare away the guys ;=)
Hi Mort. I am as you guessed.....a man.
lol, not really. I am single white female, but not seeking romance over the 'waves' whether they be Internet or deep blue. ;)
I'm not offended at all. Stereotypes usually exist for a reason. Numerous examples about for females as well. I give you, Miss South Carolina, for instance on my blog, down a few entries. ;)
http://clear-lake-reflections.com
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