One of my exes was a babe magnet. He wasn't handsome, he wasn't tall, he wasn't rich, he wasn't funny and he wasn't that bright either!
On the surface of it, he had nothing to offer to women in terms of these superficial things that other men might consider women find important when looking for a mate.
Certainly when I first encountered this male, I didn't find him the least bit attractive. In fact I found him a little repulsive.
1 year later we were married.
What did this man do to persuade me he was worth my time, my attention and my love?
He had a great smile. This was his one endearing physical feature and he smiled a lot.
He was a great listener and he was interested in knowing everything about me but wasn't so inquisitive that he didn't share anything about himself. He shared a great deal of intimate information.
He also played to my nurturing side by appearing 'vulnerable'. This I suppose created an atmosphere of trust and as a result a friendship was forged.
He was like this with all the women he encountered without exception. He was instantly 'open' and 'sharing'. He had life experience and was able to relate to people's problems and help them overcome them. He thus played the healer and the needy card well.
I very quickly noticed how 'attractive' he seemed to be to other women. This of course (in competitive terms) made his attractive rating fly up. If other women rate him highly then he must be worth having.
This is how men's attractive ratings work.
It's not about them standing alone as an individual it's about others perceive them.
This summarizes this man's appeal.
So what was the downside of being with this man that every woman wanted.
Day and night women would call the house. Not just his female friends, but the girlfriends of his male friends and the mothers of his male friends. They'd call him up to discuss their problems.
When we were out strange women would come up and sit on his knee with me sat right beside him.
I also had to endure women telling him they loved him, throw their arms around him and kiss him right under my nose.
It was quite insane and in all seriousness this is exactly how it was.
He couldn't buy an icecream from a female icecream seller without her relating her personal troubles and him taking her number!
I am not exaggerating in the least.
Meanwhile, this guy was far from perfect behind the scenes and one year after marrying him I divorced him and went back to finding him repulsive.
There are thus two messages here:
Guys
If it's in your nature to be a friend, to listen to women's problems and to be attentive you'll do very well with women indeed.
Women
If you've got yourself a babe magnet, be warned, it might not be that much fun! You must not be the least bit jealous as chances are your babe magnet will continue to attract babes long after you two got together.
Good luck!
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